My name is not Nick Malone and this is not Blashmapolitan!
My name is Matt Brown, I’m the host of UIC’s Messy Queens Radio which airs on Tuesday nights from 8 to whenever, and I’m the other homosexual socialite affiliated with UIC Radio.
I wish I could come to you with a plan and a message. But if you ever see me in person, you should be quasi-comforted by the fact that I am as shallow as I am annoying (that means very) and there’s really no depth here. There are puddles in California deeper than I am.
That’s funny because there’s a drought. Nevermind, it’s a bad joke. Shhh, let me be who I am.
I’m basically going to use this blog as a space to air out my stream of consciousness and really say what I think, whatever it is. My inner monologue is a very angry person with Attention Deficit Disorder. The lack of focus means it’s a broad rage but the lack of concrete emotions brings it back to more of an annoyance. My whole aura is that of a mild, but persistent discomfort. I am a side effect.
But, I’m also a lot of other things. I’m black. I’m gay. I’m Cuban. I’m 18. I’m a Spanish and Sociology major. I’m a writer. I’m a comic. I’m mentally ill. But, let’s attach to the comedy. I know I have.
I love stand up comedy. It’s what we spend most of our time on Messy Queens talking about. I’m a comic talking to comics about comedy. People pretend like it’s an esoteric interest but everyone loves to laugh and anyone that’s smart wants to know how it happens. And what I’ve learned in interviewing the men and women that I regularly ruin innocent people’s nights with is… No one knows how it happens. The thoughts just come into your head. And then they don’t. And there’s no new material for two weeks. And then you’re like me writing a blog post inside a Starbucks after the barista hit on you and you wonder if you have to use a condom with him because if you really think about it, espresso is nature’s antibiotic.
Ramble aside, what am I doing here? I’m just your run of the mill female philosopher talking about the things that really matter. So, I leave with a question. Straight up, can you tell me? Do you wanna love me forever?
Goodnight everyone. And if you see Paula Abdul bagging your groceries at Jewel, don’t tell her I used the song.