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Rey’s light saber is super big now Photo courtesy of imdb.com

Call me a plebeian. Call me a shameless consumer. Call me just another small cog in the corporate machine. I’ll take all of it, really. I don’t care. What am I referring to? The only thing worth referring too of course; this year’s new addition to the Star Wars film catalog, The Last Jedi.  

I don’t hide my shamelessness. When Disney announced a few years back that it would be releasing Star Wars films until the end of time itself, I was as happy as Luke Sky-walker during that one scene in Empire Strikes Back where he unknowingly makes out with his sister.

While some had concerns that Disney, the franchise’s new owner, would strip the property of all of its cool stuff and replace it with musical numbers and cars voiced by Owen Wilson, I had faith that the extra galactic spider people that secretly ran the company would handle this most sacred of franchises with the care and finesse of a sloth climbing down from a tree.  

And for the most part, they really have. The company’s first two entries; The Force Awakens, and Rogue One, were both for the most part both very well made and well received films, and judging by the trailers, it looks like The Last Jedi is going to maintain that same level of quality.

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I what great additions to the deep lore of the Star Wars universe these will bring. Photo courtesy of darksideoftheforce.com

The marketing team over at Disney should be praised for its ability to do just enough to build the appropriate amount of hype for the movies, while also keeping things from becoming too annoying. There’s a nice ebb and flow in thee yearly build up to each new movie, and everything feels very natural. It’s things like this that make me confident that Disney will continue to handle the franchise correctly for at least the next few years.

Despite the fact that I am for the most part very confident in Disney’s ability to stay on target, I am a little concerned where things will be in the future. Sure, the first few films will be great, but what happens when we get to year seven, or year eight? At some point, this yearly release schedule will start to take its toll, and we may begin to see quality start to suffer as the ideas for films begin to dry out and public excitement begins to wane.

Then there’s the problem of over saturation. Yes, the marketing team does a great job, but if things keep going like this, eventually there will simply be too many films. Now don’t get me wrong, I personally believe that you can’t have ever have too much Star Wars, but I know that no one else shares my same poor taste. By the end of this new trilogy, the entries in the franchise will have entered the double digits, a milestone that few franchises ever reach.

Ultimately, the only thing the studio can do is maintain a high level of quality. This isn’t too much of a stretch, considering that Disney is also at the helm of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), which is almost twenty entries strong and still maintains a generally positive reception.

My concerns are still for the most part still really small at this point. Again, I truly do feel like the franchise is in the hands of the right people, or at the very least people who are good at hiding how evil they are. Don’t get me wrong though; i’ll be right in the middle of the sacking of Disney World the minute they announce the all ewok musical, but until that day comes, I am firmly on Disney’s side.  

Now that I’ve just about exhausted my meaningless opinion on Disney’s handling of the franchise, let me throw you some tips on how to best prepare for your viewing of The Last Jedi.

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There is always room for Lando. Photo courtesy of metro.co.uk
  1. Go completely off the grid until the movie drops in order to avoid any spoilers. These things have a habit of leaking a few days before the film opens, and could really mess up your viewing experience! Once you go off the grid, go find an empty cave out in the wilderness, and spend the next few days covering your ears and screaming as loud as you can.
  2. Watch all eight films simultaneously.
  3. Kidnap George Lucas’s mailman and take his place. Once you’ve earned his trust, you can use his influence to get the best seat in the house when you finally go and see the movie!
  4. Give the prequels some love! While many despise the prequels for their hammy acting, obnoxious CGI characters, and general unpleasantness, they are still part of the Star Wars canon! Help spread the love by replacing your theater’s Last Jedi film reels with a four hour supercut of all three prequel films!
  5. On the opening night of The Last Jedi, barge into the auditorium half way into the film and in a Danny DeVito impression start loudly asking everyone in the audience for directions to the nearest gas station.
  6. Host a Star Wars party! If you really want to get into the mood, then why not have some friends over to share in the extreme nihilism that comes with the fact that a new Star Wars film is the only positive thing you have to look forward to this year.
  7. Challenge Adam Driver, the actor who plays Kylo Ren, to a duel. If you win, then you get free tickets to the movie, but if he wins, you become his butler for the rest of eternity.
  8. Go see Ferdinand staring John Cena on Friday instead of The Last Jedi.

 

Listen to The Longplay with Jonah Nink on Tuesdays from 9pm to 10pm right here on UIC radio. 

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